Airports

I alluded to the ease of travel in an earlier post.  How we take for granted the ability to skip the danger of the Alps or cross the Atlantic in a matter of hours.  Instead we complain about standing in line and having to put our toilette into little plastic bags.  I am no exception. 

     At LAX, one must remove shoes, belts, empty pockets, place laptops in a bin separate from the Ziploc of liquids and walk through the metal detector with boarding card in hand.  I stood next to a man once and we were perfect strangers putting on our belts and shoes next to each other in such a close proximity but with such detachment that I felt like a hooker on my way home.  At LHR, one must go through security again.  One must have a separate bin for their carry-on luggage, even though it is self-contained.  Laptop, coat, and toilette can go together and shoes may stay on but not boots.  And one should not hold their boarding card whilst entering the metal detector. 

     Rome Fiumicino (FCO) is the main airport in Rome and quite convenient.  I flew from Rome Ciampino (CIA) on Thursday and I can't say that I'd ever like to do that again.  It isn't easy to get to and because I had to leave around 4:30 am to catch a 7:00 flight, I decided to take a cab.  Since I don't check luggage, I just run through security and walk on the plane with minimal hassle.  The Italians seemed to have it all figured out: the bins for your coat and toilette arrived via conveyor belt and it was a breeze to place your things in them and slide the bin into the machine.  There was no fumbling with stacks of bins sticking to each other or having to get out of line to find bins.  And just as I was thinking that this was the most efficient (surprising because this was Italy) way of doing things, an old woman completely bypassed the entire security line by walking around a barrier and presented herself at the front of the line, jabbering that she had forgotten something.  Security let her through and she saved herself at least ten minutes of queuing up with the rest of us.  This is Italy, after all...

     CDG in Paris is generally considered to be the worst airport in the world.  I've had bad experiences there, Jessie has, and so did the gentleman who was killed a few years ago when part of the terminal happened to collapse.  I pretty much try and avoid it.  Orly is a convenient airport but I decided to try Beauvais because it was about €50 cheaper.  If I am traveling to a place I know rather well like NY or Rome, I will generally just hop on public transport.  But if it's Boston or London, or in this case Paris by way of Beauvais, I will take a cab on arrival and will know enough by the time I leave so I can take the Metro on the return.  The price of a ride from Beauvais to Paris via taxi is not set as it is in many places.  It cost more than I am willing to mention.  I take that back, it cost €162 or about $250.  By the time I arrived in Paris, I was completely sick from not only the hour and forty-five minutes in stop-and-go traffic but also because I didn't have any money for a fun birthday present.  I met Shelley in the tea room of our hotel and said, "The Eiffel Tower is so boring." 

     I was not completely defeated by travel though.  Or at least not yet.  On the way home on the RER from the Maison Objet gift show at Parc l'Esposition, the train car was so packed that I could smell the shampoo of the woman in front of me and I could put my hand in her pocket (which I did just to see if she would notice) but there wasn't anything in it.  But the train car didn't move.  At least not for about a half an hour.  And then it stopped again.  There was a suspicious package at Gare du Nord so while security was busy blowing it up, I was busy standing in standing-room only convincing myself that I am not claustrophobic (I'm not but it felt like it).  Also, that I was not in the freezing cold for three days in the train car to Auschwitz.  Shelley wanted to sing 'Yellow Submarine' but I wanted to throw up. 

      I get motion sickness, known as mal de transport in France, and so I had to get some tablets from the pharmacy for the bus ride back to Beauvais.  I was not about to spring another couple of hundred on a cab.  I took the metro to the outskirts of Paris near La Defense and stood in line in front of a window that said 'closed.'  There were about 200 people waiting around trying to figure out what to do.  €14 got me a ticket to Beauvais where one must remove scarves before going through the metal detector but not not shoes or boots.  There are no real gates at Beauvais but just one big room where everyone sits on the floor.  There are four doors (which are the gates) and the gate name is announced only once boarding has begun.  There is a mad dash and a frenzy to line up at the door.  Then about halfway through boarding, the gate/door switches just to make it fair for all the people who missed the first mad dash.  If you don't get trampled in the second mad dash, you wait outside where it is 30 degrees to get on the plane.  Once on the plane, you can use your cell phone for talking or texting.  Flying Ryanair is fun that way.  But be prepared to pay €3 for water.